May 1966

Dear Diary,

This revolution is really starting to confuse me. Just the other day, I was reading the newspaper, and the whole front page was covered with articles condemning our schools and teachers and education. One article said that the schools were teaching us to be revisionists instead of communists. It said that our whole school system was messed up and that all the teachers were trying to corrupt the students. Doesn’t that just sound ridiculous?

And then the next day, not surprisingly, school was suspended. Instead of learning, we went to school to write da-zi-bao (big banners insulting everything anti-communist). I couldn’t bring myself to write one. The truth is, I couldn’t find anything unfair or anti-communist that my teachers have done to me, or anyone in that case. I truly couldn’t think of anything. Honest. But I still had to write one, because if I didn't everyone would think I was also anticommunist. So instead of writing one of my own, I decided to just copy what someone else wrote. That way, I wouldn’t feel as bad as I would have if I had made up something untrue. So I went outside to read all the other da-zi-bao, to find one to copy. I have to say, what was written on them was just bizarre. What they said was just ridiculous and cruel. One even accused a teacher of attempting to corrupt a student by buying her bread when she forgot her lunch. Isn’t that just awful? Since when did being kind become anticommunist? Is this really what Chairman Mao wants us to be doing? Do we have to insult people like this to be true communists? I don’t think I can bring myself to do it.

I try not to doubt Chairman Mao. I know he is always right. Everyone says so. It must be true. There must be a sensible reason he wants us to write these da-zi-bao. Of course, because Chairman Mao is always right, and he would never tell us to do things he didn’t actually want us to do. How could I possibly doubt him? I remember what everyone used to tell me, “ Heaven and Earth are great, but greater still is the kindness of the communist party; father and mother are dear, but dearer still is Chairman Mao.” Yes, of course. Mao is always right. If he says writing da-zi-bao is right, then it is right. I shall not defy him. Tomorrow, when I return to school I will write one. Yes, I will write one tomorrow.

-Jiang Ji-Li
 
(Jessica Luo)
September 1976

Dear Diary, 

Chairman Mao Zedong has died. He died last night, September 9th, 1976, and a news article was released today. His death was a sad day for us all, we are now confused as to who will step up into power and lead our great nation.  As I write these words to you I cry, I cry with the unknowing sadness of what is ahead of us; we all loved our great leader and now we don’t have it. What is to become of us? Why do I cry with such sadness? I didn’t even know him, but still loved him and all he did, he was great; Chairman Mao was great, and always will be.

Other than Chairman Mao’s death all is fine, but you can feel a sense of tenseness and sadness in the room where ever you go. Everyone is in grief and morning over his death; some people at his memorial are even wishing it was they who had died so Chairman Mao could live on and lead us to the greatness he knew of. He was excellent, he was amazing, he was what people looked up too in the world, everyone seemed to agree with him.

~Jiang Ji-Li

(Galen Dodd)